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So very confused...relationship problems~~Silvergoddess

  Author: 16799  Category:(Discussion) Created:(1/10/2001 2:33:00 PM)
This post has been Viewed (1003 times)

OK. I started seeing this guy about 2 months ago. All I can say about him is "What a sweetheart!" His personality and sense of humor are so unique. We have great times when we go out together, but he works so much that we only see each other a couple times a week. We had 2 small disputes last week though. I was a little jealous because he went to a casino with a good friend of ours, and I'm only 20...not old enough to go with them. I pretty much went off on him about how he doesn't spend enough time with me. I felt really bad after that. I know he meant no harm. After this, about 3 days later, he mentioned that he might go to a "gentlemen's club" with his guy friends. Personally, I have high morals, and got very offended when he said this. I told him that I didn't know if I could go on seeing him if he did that. Once again, I feel terrible. I did a lot of thinking, and came to realize that if he wants to do that sort of thing, I can live with it. I don't agree with it though. I do not want to judge him, which I was starting to do. I realize that what he and I have should not be at jeopardy for him going to a place like that. I do trust him, and that is what matters. I can't expect everything to be perfect. He has more positives than negatives in my book. So, I told him that I wanted to work things out, and he said that we have our differences, and he doesn't want to hurt me. So, he pretty much broke up with me and said we just need some time alone. He said he hated to end it, but maybe we'd get back together. He said he really does not know what he wants and he was thinking about me all day. I cried a little, but for some reason I am not torn apart...just confused. I trust that whatever is meant to be will be. I know we will still see each other a lot because his best friend and my best friend are dating and living together. He and I ended on good terms. He still wants to go places with me. I just want to be his girlfriend so badly!AHHH!

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Replies:      
Date: 1/10/2001 2:36:00 PM  From Authorid: 10030    I think you already know how to fix this. Why dont you tell him this, what you told us?  
Date: 1/10/2001 2:50:00 PM  From Authorid: 20956    i agree with holliberry. I think you need to sit him down and tell him EXACTLY how you feel (just like you told us). If this is too hard to do face to face maybe write him a letter...i know thats the soft way out but i've been in a similar situation where i couldnt seem to get the words out to my ex so i wrote him a letter and i was able to say everything that i wanted to...and it came out sooo much better!!! Good luck *SunAngel*  
Date: 1/10/2001 3:33:00 PM  From Authorid: 600    Well, I have a different angle. This may not be the right one mind you, I don't know him, so I can't tell you for sure. But, I'd have to wonder if he were trying to have his cake and eat it too so to speak. The timing of the break off was a little suspect. Has he gone to this gentlemen's club yet? If not, and after he goes, he suddenly decides you were the girl of his dreams all along but it just took time apart to realise this, I'd say he was trying to definitely have it both ways. I can't blame you for not wanting him to go either. Would he honestly feel it would be alright for you to go to a lady's club? I trust my husband 100%, but I have to tell you, I'd be offended at the mere thought that he wanted to see another woman mostly naked. Maybe I'm not liberal enough, but that's how I'd feel. I would be fine if his friends and he decided to just go out to a club and have a few drinks, but would see no reason for it to be in a gentlemen's club. These are just my thoughts and like I said, I could be way off base here, I just wanted to make sure you were looking at it from other view points. I do hope it all turns out for the best and the way you would like it to. Best of luck to you.   
Date: 1/10/2001 4:19:00 PM  From Authorid: 3538    Ooohh,I so know how this goes!!I admit I am a bit jealous if my boyfriend wants to go somewhere on his own.I have a panic attack.ALthough,he claims that he has never been to a gentlemans club,strange as it sounds I believe him that he has not.But,honestly,if he told me that he was going to go to one,I would freak out completely!I have a hard time trusting him,I guess.But,I think it is a good thing that you and him are just friends now.  
Date: 1/10/2001 4:23:00 PM  From Authorid: 3538    TAC has a good comment!Why does he need to see some other lady naked dancing and grinding against him?  
Date: 1/11/2001 9:57:00 AM  From Authorid: 24195    Did you get my message? I sent it to you only, because I am new at posting messages.

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