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5 Behaviors of Manipulative People

  Author:  51393  Category:(Human Interest) Created:(12/14/2009 4:07:00 PM)
This post has been Viewed (10846 times)

Many of us like to think the best of people. We like to think that they shoot straight and are forthright in their intentions. We also like to believe that they will ask for what they want and not resort to crazy tactics to get it. Unfortunately, however, there are times when we come across those who will do whatever it takes to get what they want…including manipulation. Being manipulated never feels good, but the worst part of manipulation is that often, we don’t even realize that it is happening. Here are a few ways to know if someone is trying to manipulate you:

Buttering You Up: To get their way, manipulators will often make you feel good so that they can then ask you to do something that they want. The person may first compliment you or tell you what a wonderful job you did on something. Making you feel good will, in their mind, make it difficult for you to say no…after all, you wouldn’t want to disappoint them or give them reason to think you didn’t deserve the compliment in the first place. What you can do: Return the compliments and the niceties before saying no. Guilt:



This doesn’t only pertain to Catholics and Jewish Mothers; guilt trips have been a successful manipulation tactic for centuries. The saddest part of this strategy is that the victims of this tactic succumb to the manipulators’ demands because they feel they HAVE to, not because they WANT to. In personal relationships, this sets up a co-dependency that is extremely unhealthy. What you can do: Ask the individual if they want you to do something because you have to or because you want to. If they say they want you to want to do it, tell them that you don’t and that they are trying to force you into something you don’t feel comfortable with. Broken Record:

Probably the most obvious of formats is the broken record tactic. If a person asks you enough or pushes their agenda enough…constantly repeating the question or request over and over again…in slightly different ways, the victim will inevitably give in and give them what they want. Oye! What you can do: Ask the individual what they don’t understand about the word “no.” Tell them that asking you over and over again isn’t going to change anything and that they are inappropriately over-stepping boundaries. Selective Memory:

This one gets me the most. You swear you have a conversation about a plan and everyone is on the same page, and then one day, the manipulator pretends to remember the conversation completely differently, if at all. What you can do: Record your conversations…seriously! Okay, maybe not. At least have a witness that you can count on to back you up if the person pulls this shenanigan. Call them out on the fact that they conveniently change the game to fit their needs. Bullying:

If a person doesn’t get their way, they make you out to look or feel like the bad guy…like you are the wrong one. What you can do: Be firm and tell them that their bullying tactics are inappropriate and unacceptable. Keep your eyes open for these behaviors and continue to stand your ground to ensure that you aren’t a victim of manipulation. Have you seen any other types of manipulative behavior?









http://shine.yahoo.com/channel/life/5-behaviors-of-manipulative-people-549848/

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Replies:      
Date: 12/14/2009 4:50:00 PM  From Authorid: 48250    Been subjected to those behaviors many times..it's no fun now I "pretend" I don't "hear" these people when they start emotional and mental wars and manipulative head game-playing...zero tolerance for this type of unhealthy behavior...Thanks for sharing, it's great to see you Diana...xoxo...T/C  
Date: 12/14/2009 5:03:00 PM  ( From Author ) From Authorid: 51393    Thank you TC nice to see u again ((((((hugs)))))  
Date: 12/14/2009 5:11:00 PM  ( From Author ) From Authorid: 51393    I meant KY lol and meant take care lol  
Date: 12/14/2009 6:30:00 PM  ( From Author ) From Authorid: 51393    That's terrible AO a user for sure no doubt.I had experienced with someone trying to manipulate me as well to buy into their spat and here i was watching the boyfriend and girfriend fighting about her dating another guy so she can have her boots and perfume.Here i go feeling bad that i see it happening and offered her that i will buy the boots for her.What urks me with this girl the boots she wanted was the same exact pair and 2 of a pair and it cost me almost 400 dollars for the both of them.

The same day she stole at least a hundred dollars worth of quarters into my jar.I knew then that wa sthe end of my kindness i will stop and i meant stop seeing everyone i knew whome i felt has used me and kept myself here at home.I was done and that was it.

You know what these thieves is what i truly call these people.When they do such thing it will comes back to them ten fold and more.You do NOT take anything from anyone and get away with it.God has its way to show you that karma do exist do not do unto other if you dont want others to do unto you.I believed in doing the right thing for someone and if i feel as if this person will not turn out right for me after a while my patient wores out thin and when i turn my back around i will never turn around again.

I forgive and forgive so much to so many has done to me and thinking someday time will come their pay back will come.God do not sleep he sees you whatever you do to others.Now i thank God doors has opened for me and i pray this door will stay lit and will not have anyone or anything gets in the way. As the door closes in my past now the door has opened for me in the present.

I thank God for everything and i pray for everyone for their safety and please be weary whom you hang around with people can be so devious just please watched out for everything. Much love to all and god Bless....
  
Date: 12/14/2009 6:30:00 PM  From Authorid: 62158    Yeah I just read this on the front page of Yahoo. Its funny that now that i think about it, I know alot of people that utilize most of these things on a daily basis. Guess Ill just have to steer clear.

OutoftheBlue.
Date: 12/14/2009 8:45:00 PM  From Authorid: 15157    Sad but true.  
Date: 12/14/2009 8:51:00 PM  From Authorid: 63400    Thanks its good to have a defense. and however the truth is not good to know.a manipulater has much more of an interest than someone already being manipulated.the ability to manipulate others gives one the ability to really love themselves truly and what they do.especially because its a lie they love it.my fear is that someone who is just innocent and trying to protect themselves will use this advice to their own death in defense.can you blame them? i would do it too that is be wrong with a purpose if its right.remember if god cant teach the humans to be civil in the way he sees it.He can always inflict diseases and ailments and old age upon them. otherwise we have to claim these things just happen and we dont know why..but we do.in my eyes there is no satified answer to this delema for a right to truly have the ability to a defense and a protection from mental or physical distress has everything to do with who your not.and nothing to do with who you are. This was relieving to read though thanks for caring.  
Date: 12/14/2009 10:33:00 PM  From Authorid: 55967    It seems to me from past experience and the wording of these categories that using guilt and bullying are very similar. I have someone in my life who has clearly used guilt on me and others, but also can come across as a bully. It seems that those who bully will sometimes resort to guilt when they know that outright bullying won't work. Thanks for the info. Great post.  
Date: 12/15/2009 7:20:00 AM  From Authorid: 22852    @}~~ These are so true, when my husband tries then I just give him "the look" I will never understand why people do these things and it always ticks me off when they do. Good Post.  
Date: 12/15/2009 7:21:00 AM  From Authorid: 49101    So that's why my room mate always gets his way. :/

I have livingroom full of his/thier trash, tools, air compressors... His desk is set up in my dinning room, he's taken over my storage shed and spare bedroom... I only agreed to rent them ONE BEDROOM! Not a whole house!
  
Date: 12/15/2009 7:22:00 AM  From Authorid: 49101    But when I say something, I am the bad guy.   
Date: 12/15/2009 10:28:00 AM  From Authorid: 54444    Know who you are

believe who your are

be who you are

and these tricks will never work on you. People who manipulate others are psychic blackmailers, and you owe them no respect at all.
  
Date: 12/15/2009 11:29:00 AM  From Authorid: 11097    Great post I agree with a lot of what others have said and think the best defense is to protect yourself from these people and know how they work. Learn to say no and stand up for yourself. Learn to not care what they say or do. Learn to firm in your answers and not give in to the demand of attention and the thankless million things you will do for these people. Thanks for being a caring and strong person Love and Light,  
Date: 12/15/2009 2:05:00 PM  ( From Author ) From Authorid: 51393    Hello everyone i feel we all come from one time or another will go through such life.We just need to put our foot down and not give others such as"manipulators" a chance to play us any other way.

Mrs. K I hope you will do just that put your foot down and just keep them out of your life.It seems as if they have taken your heart and soul into this mess just having these people in your home.Your home is your castle and you need to do what is right for your own sake.I hope and pray you will be at eased when you can keep out these people out of your life.

AO sometimes we have to let it out for people to know how we feel when we go through such experienced in our lives.You never ask for these things to happen it just did and somehow by dealing with manipulators you tend to find a way to stand your ground.I know its hard but there will be time you need to stand your ground for your own sake.Keep them out of your life and find other things to do and deal with good hearted people around you.

I learned my lesson well when i dealt with user who always tries to make me look like a bad guy.Tell your self they do not exist and eventually your heart and mind will get stronger and will come to the point they will go away.

((((((((hugstoutightly)))))))) be strong dear friend much love and God Bless....
  
Date: 12/16/2009 6:31:00 AM  From Authorid: 2030    No one gets manipulated unless they let themselves be.  
Date: 12/16/2009 12:26:00 PM  From Authorid: 61897    Agrees with BCAR.  

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