Have you ever asked your child a question too many times?
I hope you remember this story when they start getting frustrated. My three year old son had a lot of problems with potty training, and I was on him constantly. One day we stopped at Taco Bell for a quick lunch in between errands. It was very busy, with a full dining room. While enjoying my taco, I smelled something funny, so of course I checked my seven month old daughter, and she was clean. Then I realized that Matt had not asked to go potty in a while, so I asked him, and he said, "No." But I kept thinking,
"Oh Lord, that child has had an accident and I didn't have any change of clothes with me." So I asked Matt, "Are you sure you did not have an accident?" "No," he replied. But I just knew that he must have had, because the smell was getting worse! Soooo.........I then asked him one more time,
"Matt honey, are you sure you haven't had an accident?"
This time he jumped up, yanked down his pants, bent over and spread his cheeks and yelled.........
See MOM
IT'S JUST FARTS!
While 80 people nearly choked to death on their tacos, he calmly pulled up his pants and sat down to eat his food as if nothing happened. I was mortified......... but some kind elderly people made me feel a lot better, when they came over thanked me for the best laugh they had ever had!!!
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Stairway To Heaven
To climb the stairway to Heaven And stay upon the road Can sometimes be quite difficult For life brings a heavy load.
Temptation opens many doors And a blind eye you must turn Be true to yourself and others And the joys of life you'll learn.
A new day brings another chance To change the life you've led So don't give up, stay on the path That stairway is straight ahead.
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GEORGE AND THE DRAGON
An 18th-century vagabond in England, exhausted and famished, came to a roadside Inn with a sign reading: "George and the Dragon"
He knocked.
The innkeeper's wife stuck her head out a window. "Could ye spare some victuals?" he asked.
The woman glanced at his shabby, dirty clothes. "No!" she shouted.
"Could I have a pint of ale?"
"No!" she shouted.
"Could I at least sleep in your stable?"
"No!" she shouted again.
The vagabond said, "Might I please...?"
"What now?" the woman screeched, not allowing him to finish.
"D'ye suppose," he asked, "that I might have a word with George?"
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DID ANYONE EVER... Did anyone ever tell you Just how special you are? The light that you emit Might even light a star.
Did anyone ever tell you How important you make others feel? Somebody out here is smiling About love that is so real.
Did anyone ever tell you Many times, when they were sad Your email made them smile a bit. In fact it made them glad? For the time you spend sending things And sharing whatever you find There are no words to thank you, But somebody thinks you're fine.
Did anyone ever tell you Just how much they love you? Well, my dearest online friend Today I am telling You.
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When a grandmother was in her late eighties, she decided to move to Israel. As part of her preparations, she went to see her doctor to get all of her charts. The doctor asked her how she was doing, so she gave him a litany of complaints -- this hurts, that's stiff, I'm tired and slower, etc. He responded, "Mrs. Siegel, you have to expect things to start deteriorating. After all, who wants to live to 100?" The grandmother looked him straight in the eye and replied, "Anyone who's 99."
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Little Johnny was sitting one day on a dock. Along came a preacher and satdown beside him. Little Johnny had a mason jar full of what looked like water and he wasturning it over and over, watching the bubbles float through it. ThePreacher asked, "What are you doing with that water?"Little Johnny studied the contents of the jar for a moment,then explained, "Preacher, this here is turpentine. It's the strongestliquid in the world." The preacher replied, "Son, Holy water is the strongest liquid in theworld. Did you know if you rub a little Holy water on a pregnant woman'sbelly, she will pass a baby boy?"Little Johnny thought about this one for a minute, and then remarked, "Nope, this here turpentine is still the strongest because if you rub it on a cat's BUTT, it can pass a speeding car!" ================== Little Pauly comes home with a note from the teacher and shows it to his mother. The note reads: "Pauly is an intelligent little boy but spends too much time with girls." The following day Pauly goes to school with a note from his mother to the teacher that reads, "If you find a solution, please let me know. I have the same problem with his father."
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